Christian Whamond. Key Leadership. Executive coach
Christian Whamond - 0408 322 176
  • Home page
  • Resume
    • Career Summary
    • Education
    • Reference's
    • Personal
    • Documents
  • Leadership
    • Effective Leadership
  • Learnings
  • Referance Material
  • Social Profile's
    • DiSC
    • 360 degree feedback
    • Hogan Profile

Respect in Leadership

3/9/2010

Comments

 
Respect is one of the values that we hear talked about a lot. Respect is a word that always evokes a positive conversation. The problem has been that almost no one really thinks about or understands what it means to respect someone, create a culture of respect among people or for that matter what it means to be respected.

Most of us believe that respect is an important value and that it is good. We do not normally think of respect as an action but as a feeling or judgment about other people.


To understand and distinguish respect it is important to recognize that language is fundamental to how we see the world. Language both opens possibilities and empowers us, or it closes possibilities and limits us.


If we say we respect someone, we are “looking" at the other person in a particular way — usually suggesting we are open to listen and honor each other’s views even if we disagree. If we say we don’t respect someone, we are generally closed to certain possibilities and conversations with them.


Likewise, if we have “self-respect” we are generally in a healthy internal conversation with ourselves. If we don’t respect ourselves, we will typically be stuck in all sorts of unproductive and unsatisfying "self-talk". If we say that something is possible to someone we respect, we will more than likely have a productive and satisfying dialogue. If we don’t respect them then we will more than likely be closed, not listen or in some cases disregard and dismiss them and their views outright.


‘Respect’ is just a word, but what it means and what it distinguishes for us can make all the difference in how we observe ourselves and others.


If we can create a culture in which respect is universal and an expression of our commitment to each other as human beings and how we choose to "look at each other", then we have a foundation for designing ways for collaboration and mutual empowerment that are simply not possible in the absence of authentic respect.


I believe that respect is the foundation for any serious discourse on coaching, leadership or building satisfying relationships with others. Without respect there are no possibilities for trust, sharing a vision, for empowerment or for creating powerful teams and organizations.


Respect (or lack of it) is a core aspect of any recurring conflict situation as well as an integral factor in most labour-management disputes. Many times, we use the term and our feelings about respect to in effect say, “You should agree with me and behave the way I want you to or it means you don’t respect me (or justifies my not respecting you) and therefore I can rationalize doing just about anything I want without concern for you”.


In an organizational or social context our judgments and level of respect become the basis for how we relate to other people on a day-to-day basis.


Respect is fundamental to human relationships (and relationship with self) is not a new idea. What is new is the inquiry into whether it is possible to respect people with whom we strongly disagree and whose actions and behaviour are inconsistent with what we value. We all use respect (or lack of respect) to determine how open we are, how trusting we are and how we choose to relate to others.


When we have negative judgments, our assessments become the justification to give or not give respect. In our everyday way of relating, we rarely notice that the judgments and assessments are one thing, and the conclusions and actions that follow are something else.


Respect can be seen as an action and that it is possible to create a culture in which people naturally and authentically respect each other. To do this, however, we need to consider how we are looking at people already. That is, we need to observe that we are normally judging others in terms of our own values and practices. Our baseline for assessing others is essentially what we happen to believe at a given moment. The implication of this has to do with whether we can take someone seriously if they don’t meet or match our standards and beliefs.


If we can’t take someone seriously then we never have the conversations which could make a difference in how we relate or what is or isn’t possible for us in the future. When this occurs we become trapped in a vicious cycle of judgment-lack of respect-reaction, and more judgment that justifies more lack of respect.


It is of course possible to partially finesse the issue by trying to separate the "human being" from his or her behavior… “I respect YOU, but don’t respect your behavior”.


I am suggesting that we must respect everyone if the idea of respect is to make any sense other than as a tool for judging and manipulating behavior. The reason for this is that the simple act of judging whether someone (including ourselves) is worthy of our respect is to separate us from the other person as a human being and assume a "superior" relationship to them.


As a coach, I am always relating to a person in two domains….one is who I say they are as a possibility, the other is who they are in a context of my judgments and their history. My choice is in which context I will relate to them. If I relate to another in a context of possibility then our work together is about their commitments, creating breakthroughs and producing unprecedented results. If I relate to them in a context of their past and my assessments then the game typically becomes about me analyzing their behavior and attempting to "fix" or control them.


Creating a culture of respect begins with a commitment to seeing everyone as worthy of respect. In a culture of respect there will be more straight talk (especially of negative assessments) because we respect each other. In a culture of respect — all sorts of relationship issues, differences and lack of alignment become positive forces for change, not justifications for the status quo.


Human beings will always have judgments about themselves and others. It doesn’t matter whether our judgments are positive or negative since no judgment is ever true or false anyway, no matter how many may agree or disagree with it.


Respect is one of many values we seek to "enculturate" in our organizations. Like all values it cannot be legislated or regulated into existence. It can be learned, it can be coached and leaders everywhere can demonstrate it.


Creating a culture of respect doesn’t solve problems or predict any particular behavior. It does, however, shift the context, our consciousness and the organizational paradigm in such a way as that we need not sacrifice our relationships in moments of conflict and fear. Moreover, when we respect others, we are able to consider our own responsibility for our disagreements and differences and most of all we can engage in dialogues to create a future in which everyone is included without perpetuating reactive cycles of distrust, resentment and acrimony….a future based on respect.
Comments

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2015
    January 2015
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010

    Categories

    All
    7 Habits
    Abraham Lincoln
    Abuse Power
    Abusive
    Accountable
    Achievable
    Achieve
    Action Plan
    Adaptability
    Alexander Graham Bell
    Ambition
    Ambitions
    Angry
    Annual Reviews
    Apologize
    Apple
    Approval
    Attitudes
    Axioms
    Bad Behaviors
    Bad Boss
    Basic Principles.
    Behavior
    Believe
    Boss
    Bully
    Bureaucracy
    Burn Out
    Busy
    Candor
    Care
    Career
    Career Development
    Cause
    Ceo
    Challenges
    Challenging
    Change
    Chaos
    Character
    Charisma
    Checklist
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Churchill
    Clock Builder
    Coaching
    Coaching Action Plan
    Coca Cola
    Cold Call
    Colin Powell
    Colorose
    Commitment
    Communicate
    Communication
    Communicators
    Competence
    Competition
    Competitors
    Conflict
    Confrontation
    Connect
    Connectivity
    Consistency
    Conversation
    Courage
    Courageous
    Creativity
    Credibility
    Criticism
    Culture
    Customer
    Customers
    Dalai Lama
    Dale Carnegie
    David Thodey
    Decision Maker
    Decisions
    Decisiveness
    Dedicated
    Delayering
    Delegation
    Developing
    Development
    Differentiation
    Difficult Employee
    Dilutions
    Diplomacy
    Disc
    Discipline
    Discouraged
    Doers
    Dream
    Effective
    Effectiveness
    Effective People
    Ego
    Emerging Leaders
    Emotional
    Emotions
    Employees
    Employment
    Empower
    Empowering Leader
    Empowerment
    Enemies
    Engage
    Engagement
    Enthusiasm
    Entrepreneurs
    Ethical
    Ethics
    Expect
    Expectations
    Experts
    Facebook
    Fear
    Feedback
    Firing Someone
    Focus
    Foundation
    Friends
    Friendship
    Game
    Geniuses
    George Washington
    Goals
    Google
    Gospa
    Gossip
    Growth
    Habit
    Harvard
    Helping
    Hobbies
    Honesty
    Hope
    Horstman's Laws
    House
    Hr
    Humility
    Idea
    Idea's
    Identity
    Influence
    Insanity
    Inspiration
    Inspire
    Jack Welch
    Jim Collins
    Jim Rohn
    Job Performance
    Job Satisfaction
    Job Seekers
    John Maxwell
    Lead By Example
    Leader
    Leaderning
    Leaders
    Leadership
    Leadership Qualities
    Leading
    Learn
    Learning
    Legacy
    Lessons
    Lessons Life Taught
    Listening
    Lou Holtz
    Love
    Loyality
    Management
    Manager
    Managers
    Managing
    Managing Up624f2380c5
    Manipulative
    Marketing
    Mark Twain
    Martin Luther King Jr
    Meaning
    Meeting
    Mentoring
    Micromanages
    Mission
    Mission Statement
    Mistake
    Mistakes
    Moodiness
    Motivate
    Motivation
    Multidimensionality
    Myers Briggs
    Network
    One On Ones
    Opportunities
    Oprah
    Organization
    Organizational Commitment
    Organizations
    Overachievers
    Passion
    Passionate
    Passiveaggressive4cb939360a
    Pattom
    People
    Performance
    Performance Management
    Persistence
    Persuasive
    Peter Drucker
    Petty People
    Pip
    Pitch
    Planning
    Poor Performers
    Positive Attitudes
    Positive Leadership
    Power
    Prepair
    Pride
    Priorities
    Proactive
    Productivity
    Professional
    Promote
    Purpose
    Pursuit
    Push Back
    Quotes
    Recognize
    Relationships
    Reputation
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Resume
    Richard Austin
    Ridge
    Risk
    Roosevelt
    Sacrafice
    Sacrifices
    Sales
    Sales Team
    Secrets
    Selfconfidence
    Selfconfidenceef32ab1bf4
    Selfmasteryb72a7fe0f0
    Selling
    Simon Inek
    Simplicity
    Six Sigma
    Skills
    Smart Goals
    Smile
    Social Media
    Sorry
    Speaking
    Staff
    Staff Meeting
    Star Performer
    Start
    Stephen R Covey
    Steve Jobs
    Stress
    Success
    Succession Planning
    Support
    Tact
    Tasks
    Team
    Team Leader
    Teams
    Team Work
    Technology
    Thankyou
    Theodore Roosevelt
    The Truth About Leadership
    Thomas Jefferson
    Thought
    Tim Cook
    Time Management
    To Do
    Todo List86df8ef42f
    True Selves
    Trust
    Truth
    Twitter
    Uncertainty
    Value
    Valuebased Leadership
    Value Proposition
    Values
    Vision
    Visionary Company
    Visulizing
    Who We Are
    Why
    Willingness To Sacrifice
    Willingness To Take Risks
    Win
    Winners
    Winning
    Win People
    Win-win
    Wisdom
    Wise
    Work
    Work Life Balance
    Workplace
    Worry
    Yes-men

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Christian Whamond
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.