Christian Whamond. Key Leadership. Executive coach
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Our automatic behaviour with trust is "You must earn my trust"

1/2/2013

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Our automatic behaviour with trust is "You must earn my trust". But for many, earning trust takes a long time, sometimes year or even a lifetime. If we must wait to develop tust in working relationships, we have a problem. We must reverse out thinking of expecting trust to be earned, for which we place the burden of proof on the other party, and learn to grant trust based on shared commitments and agreements.

All issues must be put on the table and openly discussed with respect and candor; nothing should be taboo. If the issue impacts performance, execution, or quality of relationships, it should be immediately discussed and resolved.

How many trusted colleagues - people you can count on unconditionally - do you have on your team in your organisation? If your like most people, you have only a handful of trusted partners. Most people only have a small fraction of the people they interact with on a daily basis in their inner trust. When people and teams do not trust on another, they compensate for low trust levels by second-guessing leaders, making redundant efforts, micromanaging, and locking on the tactical issues rather than maintaining a strategic focus.

It is typical and tragically true that you will rarely know what happened when you are removed from a persons inner circle of trust because you failed to live up to unspoken criteria.

We seldom stop and consider where people are in our circle of trust. we simply respond automatically and in a different way with those we trust that with those we dont. When was the last time you said to someone "You are outside my circle of trust"? Your behaviours probably send the message anyway, likewise others are constantly sending you messages about where you are on their circle of trust. Unless we build committed partnerships and have a way to build and restore trust, we are left with devastating, frustrating and unproductive situations.

Committed partners operate at a high level of integrity and accountability. They agree to a high standard of behaviour for how they will interact, align, and deal with breakdowns. They stand for the success of each-other privately and publicly.

They grant each other trust and agree to immediately talk to the appropriate person if they feel they can no longer stand for them. The declaration of committed partners is "I am granting you trust. If at any point I feel I cannot trust you, I will talk with you immediately and not to others people. If their is a breakdown between us, you have my commitment that I will address it immediately with you to resolve our partnership"
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