I regularly do one on one coaching and counselling for friends and business acquaintances.
When talking to general managers or CEO's of businesses I sometimes get asked "We have a manager/leader/friend in jeopardy, can they be saved?). With rare exception, the answer is yes. Given the right tools and environment, they can transform their behaviours and sustain change over time. What is required is the willingness of the person in question to honestly confront his/her blind spots and take 100% accountability for their action's/business results and their impact on people. The person must learn new skills on for how to engage with others. Equally as import the environment must support the practise of committed partnership: standing for success of each other, honouring and fulfilling commitments, talking straight and responsibility, aligning emotionally and intelligently and holding each other accountable.
Simply telling someone that he or she needs to "get on board" or work more effectively with others is pointless. Words alone do not alter behaviours. While people may understand the logic of what your saying, they will not recognise the emotional impact their behaviour has on others. Even if they do understand the impact of their behaviour, most do not have the skills to correct it and sustain new behaviours over time. Even with the best intention a person will default to old and unproductive behaviours without structure and support.
In my work, I constantly find people to be highly committed and accountable. Its rare to find someone who does not have a overriding commitment to do their best. But this is often accompanies by frustration and feeling hampered, misunderstood and alone. Combine these feelings of separation with low levels of awareness about the impact on others, and you have a formula for good people behaving in unproductive ways.
People do not change their behaviour unless they experience a shocking comprehension about how their behaviour is inconsistent with their fundamental beliefs and values. For a person to change his/her behaviour, something - such as constructive intervention - must happen to create a profound and heightened sense of awareness.
When talking to general managers or CEO's of businesses I sometimes get asked "We have a manager/leader/friend in jeopardy, can they be saved?). With rare exception, the answer is yes. Given the right tools and environment, they can transform their behaviours and sustain change over time. What is required is the willingness of the person in question to honestly confront his/her blind spots and take 100% accountability for their action's/business results and their impact on people. The person must learn new skills on for how to engage with others. Equally as import the environment must support the practise of committed partnership: standing for success of each other, honouring and fulfilling commitments, talking straight and responsibility, aligning emotionally and intelligently and holding each other accountable.
Simply telling someone that he or she needs to "get on board" or work more effectively with others is pointless. Words alone do not alter behaviours. While people may understand the logic of what your saying, they will not recognise the emotional impact their behaviour has on others. Even if they do understand the impact of their behaviour, most do not have the skills to correct it and sustain new behaviours over time. Even with the best intention a person will default to old and unproductive behaviours without structure and support.
In my work, I constantly find people to be highly committed and accountable. Its rare to find someone who does not have a overriding commitment to do their best. But this is often accompanies by frustration and feeling hampered, misunderstood and alone. Combine these feelings of separation with low levels of awareness about the impact on others, and you have a formula for good people behaving in unproductive ways.
People do not change their behaviour unless they experience a shocking comprehension about how their behaviour is inconsistent with their fundamental beliefs and values. For a person to change his/her behaviour, something - such as constructive intervention - must happen to create a profound and heightened sense of awareness.
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