1. there is a problem
2. it’s the other person’s or group’s fault!
Clearly, this mutually held conviction can’t be the truth, but just as clearly, every party believes it.
So how is it possible that neither party sees their part in the problem?
The technical name for this problem is “self-deception.”
In non-technical terms, it is the problem of, not knowing, and resisting the possibility, that one has a problem (or has contributed to the problem).
Resolving the conflict
This means that in every conflict situation, one or both of the parties has a two-part problem that must be overcome if the conflict is to be resolved.
1. Giving up their resistance that they might be a part of the problem
2. Recognizing their role in the problem.