Christian Whamond. Key Leadership. Executive coach
Christian Whamond - 0408 322 176
  • Home page
  • Resume
    • Career Summary
    • Education
    • Reference's
    • Personal
    • Documents
  • Leadership
    • Effective Leadership
  • Learnings
  • Referance Material
  • Social Profile's
    • DiSC
    • 360 degree feedback
    • Hogan Profile

When leaders say "Sorry"

8/11/2011

Comments

 
We all have breakdowns in our interactions with others. In those interactions where you are the “perpetrator,” how you recover will strengthen or weaken the relationship. And in business, relationships are essential to doing good work. It’s vital for leaders to contribute to meaningful, trusting relationships.

First, let’s be clear on a few terms.

Breakdown is when there is a momentary collapse in your integrity. You behave in a manner that’s not you and is inappropriate.

Perpetrator means you are the instigator of the breakdown.

Recovering from the Breakdown
The most effective way to recover from a breakdown you perpetrated is to say sorry to those involved.
  • The apology must be face-to-face. It cannot be done through email. To be frank, that’s meaningless and gutless.
  • Take ownership of the breakdown. In other words, clean up your mess.
  • Do not make excuses or explain rationales for your behavior.
  • Get straight to the apology. “I owe several apologies. My behavior was over the top…”
  • Keep it short. Don’t ramble.
  • Leave room for others to respond. If they don’t that’s okay. More time may need to pass.
  • It may be necessary to talk about next steps. It depends on the severity of the breakdown, however.
A leader who can say, “I’m sorry” sets a standard of interaction that deepens relationships. It also lets others know that it’s okay to be human. Sure we all have “stuff” going on in our lives, and sometimes we take out our stress on others. A sincere apology lets others know the importance of team and camaraderie. It’s an act of humility.

The leader who can say, “I’m sorry” signals to the team that community trumps individuality

Comments

Conflict management

13/2/2011

Comments

 
Organizations are set up for conflict. This is a surprise to people who think that organizations are meant to be as cooperative as bees in a beehive.

Different functions, business units and geographic will have different priorities. Internal conflicts, be it nice or nasty, its how these conflicting priorities are resolved. Conflict is good, provided it is contained. Uncontainable conflict and open warfare are not good.

The first principle of conflict management is:

Do not take it personally; especially when it's meant to be personal. This is easy to say but hard to do.

The natural reaction to conflict is to fight or flight: Punching a work colleague or running away is not good tactics but the fear is real. Fear stands for:

Fight furiously
Engage the enemy emotionally.
Argue against all-comers
Retaliate, and repudiate reason.

Remove the F from fear and we have ear.

Empathize.
Agree the problem
Resolve the way forward.

Empathize: Listen past the bluster and blame. Listen past the emotion. Let the person talk. Listen actively to show the person you understand. Do not try and put your own point of view forward or justify yourself, it will only cause more conflict. and my personal failing is to try to fight emotion with logic.

Agree the problem: Try to focus on the actions, outcomes and benefits desired. This is where listening moves from paraphrasing to asking questions:
- "So what we need to achieve is...?"
-"So where do we need to get to by next week/Month?"
-"What does the customer want as a solution?"

Resolve the way forward: Once you have all calmed down and agreed the situation and the problem, then the way forward is often clear. Formally agree the next steps forward.

If your in conflict it means that someone thinks you are wrong. In many organizations, the standard operating procedure at this point is:
  1. Deny and wrongdoing: It has all been misinterpreted; that is not what happened.
  2. Spread the blame: you where told to do it or you where let down by someone else.
  3. Change the subject: in a superior way point really should be focusing on a more important issue.
  4. Shoot the messenger: as usual, up to no good and poising the well of corporate well-being.
Next time you feel yourself in conflict why not try this:    apologize.

This needs courage and strength that few people have and it needs to be done right.

The word "Sorry" hardly exists in the corporate language. Be aware that when people are angry they are incapable of listening. You will often need to repeat the apology several times. This can be increasingly frustration because it feels like your apologizes are been rejected. Be aware they may not be able to listen past there emotions.

You will need to act fast. Get the apology out early: the longer things are left to fester, the worse they become.

Two little words. Practice them.

"I'm sorry"

You can expand on them once you get the hang of these two little words.

"I'm sorry, you where right, I was wrong"

These 7 little words in the right situation could be the most powerful moments of your career.
Comments

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2015
    January 2015
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010

    Categories

    All
    7 Habits
    Abraham Lincoln
    Abuse Power
    Abusive
    Accountable
    Achievable
    Achieve
    Action Plan
    Adaptability
    Alexander Graham Bell
    Ambition
    Ambitions
    Angry
    Annual Reviews
    Apologize
    Apple
    Approval
    Attitudes
    Axioms
    Bad Behaviors
    Bad Boss
    Basic Principles.
    Behavior
    Believe
    Boss
    Bully
    Bureaucracy
    Burn Out
    Busy
    Candor
    Care
    Career
    Career Development
    Cause
    Ceo
    Challenges
    Challenging
    Change
    Chaos
    Character
    Charisma
    Checklist
    Childhood
    Christmas
    Churchill
    Clock Builder
    Coaching
    Coaching Action Plan
    Coca Cola
    Cold Call
    Colin Powell
    Colorose
    Commitment
    Communicate
    Communication
    Communicators
    Competence
    Competition
    Competitors
    Conflict
    Confrontation
    Connect
    Connectivity
    Consistency
    Conversation
    Courage
    Courageous
    Creativity
    Credibility
    Criticism
    Culture
    Customer
    Customers
    Dalai Lama
    Dale Carnegie
    David Thodey
    Decision Maker
    Decisions
    Decisiveness
    Dedicated
    Delayering
    Delegation
    Developing
    Development
    Differentiation
    Difficult Employee
    Dilutions
    Diplomacy
    Disc
    Discipline
    Discouraged
    Doers
    Dream
    Effective
    Effectiveness
    Effective People
    Ego
    Emerging Leaders
    Emotional
    Emotions
    Employees
    Employment
    Empower
    Empowering Leader
    Empowerment
    Enemies
    Engage
    Engagement
    Enthusiasm
    Entrepreneurs
    Ethical
    Ethics
    Expect
    Expectations
    Experts
    Facebook
    Fear
    Feedback
    Firing Someone
    Focus
    Foundation
    Friends
    Friendship
    Game
    Geniuses
    George Washington
    Goals
    Google
    Gospa
    Gossip
    Growth
    Habit
    Harvard
    Helping
    Hobbies
    Honesty
    Hope
    Horstman's Laws
    House
    Hr
    Humility
    Idea
    Idea's
    Identity
    Influence
    Insanity
    Inspiration
    Inspire
    Jack Welch
    Jim Collins
    Jim Rohn
    Job Performance
    Job Satisfaction
    Job Seekers
    John Maxwell
    Lead By Example
    Leader
    Leaderning
    Leaders
    Leadership
    Leadership Qualities
    Leading
    Learn
    Learning
    Legacy
    Lessons
    Lessons Life Taught
    Listening
    Lou Holtz
    Love
    Loyality
    Management
    Manager
    Managers
    Managing
    Managing Up624f2380c5
    Manipulative
    Marketing
    Mark Twain
    Martin Luther King Jr
    Meaning
    Meeting
    Mentoring
    Micromanages
    Mission
    Mission Statement
    Mistake
    Mistakes
    Moodiness
    Motivate
    Motivation
    Multidimensionality
    Myers Briggs
    Network
    One On Ones
    Opportunities
    Oprah
    Organization
    Organizational Commitment
    Organizations
    Overachievers
    Passion
    Passionate
    Passiveaggressive4cb939360a
    Pattom
    People
    Performance
    Performance Management
    Persistence
    Persuasive
    Peter Drucker
    Petty People
    Pip
    Pitch
    Planning
    Poor Performers
    Positive Attitudes
    Positive Leadership
    Power
    Prepair
    Pride
    Priorities
    Proactive
    Productivity
    Professional
    Promote
    Purpose
    Pursuit
    Push Back
    Quotes
    Recognize
    Relationships
    Reputation
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Resume
    Richard Austin
    Ridge
    Risk
    Roosevelt
    Sacrafice
    Sacrifices
    Sales
    Sales Team
    Secrets
    Selfconfidence
    Selfconfidenceef32ab1bf4
    Selfmasteryb72a7fe0f0
    Selling
    Simon Inek
    Simplicity
    Six Sigma
    Skills
    Smart Goals
    Smile
    Social Media
    Sorry
    Speaking
    Staff
    Staff Meeting
    Star Performer
    Start
    Stephen R Covey
    Steve Jobs
    Stress
    Success
    Succession Planning
    Support
    Tact
    Tasks
    Team
    Team Leader
    Teams
    Team Work
    Technology
    Thankyou
    Theodore Roosevelt
    The Truth About Leadership
    Thomas Jefferson
    Thought
    Tim Cook
    Time Management
    To Do
    Todo List86df8ef42f
    True Selves
    Trust
    Truth
    Twitter
    Uncertainty
    Value
    Valuebased Leadership
    Value Proposition
    Values
    Vision
    Visionary Company
    Visulizing
    Who We Are
    Why
    Willingness To Sacrifice
    Willingness To Take Risks
    Win
    Winners
    Winning
    Win People
    Win-win
    Wisdom
    Wise
    Work
    Work Life Balance
    Workplace
    Worry
    Yes-men

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Christian Whamond
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.